A powerful love affair

Words, I have found words to describe this affair

Of a man and another or a woman or of women two.

Where each one had a heart made of flesh and blood

As much as the best one should be; well, that everybody knew.

This one contributed in humility, strength and pardonment

While there was another, equally strong and compassionate;

Although this was of knowledge to only a few.

Their identities, notwithstanding, they could be anybody,

But I knew them intimately. Oh, so intimately, I could’ve been their third.

However, I was not of necessity to them, but they to me.

Their love and the sheer power of it transcending the mere boundaries of flesh

And I soaked it, basked in its glory, like a lotus lost without its pond, in a dungeon.

Yes, such was their love, their connection.

The connection that arose from one’s soul that connected midway with the thread of the second’s

Was visible to the naked eye, if one were as depraved as me or knew what it was.

The purity of connection, the transparency and innocence of it,

Well, I could only look at it as a starved dog’s first meal in weeks.

Such was their power that they did, not only, arise inspiration in other people, as individuals,

But, did so within and amongst themselves.

Such was their power that their combined rage could destroy creation

And the same care could nurture it for eternity.

These fanciful, flowery words are all I have for now,

For when, if, I am ever able to see someone and time would cease to exist,

I will make sure to savour it and, in gratitude to all my teachers,

Give these lessons to fellow men and women, no questions asked.

Till then, I will learn, this art to couple, not just in anthropology, but, in spirituality.

A vision come true

I've been writing about you for years

And never was I able to truly put you in words.

I've been writing about you for years

And was always lost in an emotional herd

I've written about this for years

Because there were just scattered pictures with no clear image.

All I've done for you is write about this for years

Because now I can tell and not live in that age.

There it is, that vision finally come true.

This was as far in the past as I'd like it to be

I had a vision of you I then wished you could see.

I saw you holding a little girl, an infant first and then a young lady.

She was, sometimes, giddy with giggles, or just comfortably sleepy.

She would look at you and you would see yourself in her,

A part of your soul, a beating heart you birthed.

You would look at her, contented and happily tired,

Take her in your arms and fly her around your shared imaginary world.

There it is, that vision finally come true.

She would see through your skin and see your plain heart.

She would love you for all the shadows and brightness of which your life was a part.

She would have no qualms about teasing and calling you silly names,

But jump at anyone who would dare play with you any harmful games.

It quietened my heart to see this vision, however, it troubled it too

As I was never sure if, with the same clarity, I could see her look at me as she would you.

It was always uncertain if she would be mine,

But never so that she would be thine.

So, when, after all the trials and tribulations, I did see her in flesh,

The little one, in a peaceful dream, the way I had wished,

I wasn't too surprised to see her as a visitor and not family

And it soothed my nerves to finally see

That if you and I couldn't reach this happy ending

It still gladdens me to see you in a familiar happy beginning.

Now that it is here, that vision finally come true.

Look at where we stand, into what we grew.

You, with lives of your own, each snug in your arms

Enjoying the dancing spectacle, letting it wash over you like a balm.

While I take that vision, turning it into a beautiful memory,

I walk back into my life, what's grown so far away from what you'd seen.

We've lived on and continued to celebrate our lives further more

Cheers to having lived in a shared world and with that I must end your lore.

For the sake of a fandom

I could just turn off the television or shut my eyes.

You wouldn't exist for me, then.

I could just turn down the volume and not here your cries.

You wouldn't affect me, then.

I could pretend that you don’t exist in my life

And have you described as an interest.

Healthy or not, I still owe you much.

My heart and mind could still be yours.

You live in my veins when I write or sing.

With all the love and inspiration that you bring.

I could go crazy and others would wish me dead.

Although, a wise, similarly unreal man said “Of course this is happening in your head,

But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?

Stop the bloody violence!

Hello! Yes, we meet again.

Just when you thought your anger would blow your mind
And the fury would rise for you to respond in kind.
There is a little part of you, your sanity's bane:
A part you wish you could keep down with a firm palm and cane.
It is taking over your words and clouding your sense of meaning.
If only your lungs could cope with your eyes steaming.

The ringing in your ears, incessant and nauseatingly revolting,
Along with the involuntary impulses to smash whatever you are holding,
Rushes through your blood-stream in a mad dash to seep out
Every fluid from your body and end this unnecessary bout.

You hope that silence will let your grey-matter settle
That the ringing would kill the noise, but it matters little
To your mind, concocting its own imaginative ways of murder
Of the rage and the manic strength that let you take it so much further.

A balled up fist and legs in position, you got ready
To swing your arms and let go of any emotions steady.
You were grinding your teeth, almost breaking the enamel,
As your teary eyes swung open to let the scene in front of you unravel.

That is when we met last!
Me, your reason and you, getting furious, fast!
I asked the cool breeze to flutter behind your ear,
At the back of your neck and lastly, near your rear!
I left you that time and have returned again today,
Stronger to hold you back as you loose control to rage.

Close your eyes and come, follow my voice.
This time, take another second and review your choice.
If the tearing of skin and breaking of bones are your wants,
Please consider the guilt that will come back to haunt.

No, you don't listen to my voice for it is not strong enough,
The ringing has drowned my reason to a small huff.
If only you could stand back and be patient,
I could be heard stronger, right at the front.

Don't let me be a small cry from a memory forgotten,
Give me room instead to stop your actions rotten.
Let the time stop and breathe deeper
Your heartbeat will slow down and your footing won't be any steeper.

Now that I have your undivided attention,
Just calm the fuck down and stop the unnecessary domestic violence!

The Leap

Walk up the green-sided road,
Lined with towering walls of leaves, shades of green, shapes of green.
Some leaves perspire, droplets form,
From the corners they collect and tip-out off the tapered end.

These drops fall on the brown muck below,
That which is waiting with open arms,
Welcoming every drop in the hope to form a streamlet,
To flow further down into what is beyond the horizon.

Approach the horizon like you were gliding towards it,
Although the heels feel the pressure of every step.

Look once, just one step before you can broaden your vision,
Down at the ground while the brown earth gives you the same effect
As coffee beans between perfumes.

Look far and beyond the great blue sea,
While the waves crash at the bottom of the cliff.
Do you see the formidable waves crashing into the rocks?
Now, do you see the seemingly calmer waves beyond?

Crouch, one last time, like a spring to extend more.
Jump like you were about to fly when you stop,
Mid-air, and let the wind engulf you.
Let the ocean extend its arms to you.

Close your eyes, ears, tongue, skin and nose
As you plummet towards the elegant mass of white and blue.

The first stinging touch of the water and eventual caressing of the undercurrents will take you
To the bottom of the ocean, far away from a world you knew,
And very far away from a world you loved!

The sights you see, the sounds you here, the things you feel
Are very different from what was familiar.

Welcome this new world!
So much more to know, to see, to love!

Welcome these new experiences,
A whole new realm to love!

When you come back

When you come back, and it will be soon

All that waiting, looking in your direction will be over

The memory of you smiling will be met by you smiling ever more brightly!

When you come back to this side of the world,

Back from where it is what God meant his “green earth” to be,

With the fresh air in your lungs and the love of other beings in your eyes,

I hope you do not find the “faster” version really much duller than what you have witnessed.

When you come back down from the heights,

Where what petty things you have come back to doesn’t matter

Simply because you got together, one with the mounts.,

To have a small chat here and there about things that suit its size.

  

When you come back, and I hope you find that beauty here,

As you will find that beauty wherever

You try to find the river’s essence that lives forever

In every being and lively entity all over!

Head first, you and me

Lets dive into this sea

That crashes onto the rocky shores.

Head first, you and me

Landing through blue doors.

Colours blur into a rainbow fudge

Fauna and flora seem strangely similar.

Holding hands, we all swim

One world ensconced in a love-spin.

We found love in a blue-shaded world

Connected, separated, from the earthly swirls. 

Seven - For this is what makes me.

A thousand things said about it, A million words spoken,

As for that one word: Hate, ‘Who would have thought?’ they say. (envy)

Well, let me tell you a bit: “When all the hearts are broken

And in a crashed state, Does it matter either way? (despair)

As, deep in the mind it sits, never out in the open,

Stewing, brewing and waiting for its bait; engulfed in the darkness, not one can see the day. (greed)

So dangerous, that man, the dimwit; more than whose character is ashen,

For he is who will not stand his own fate, and let his mind be washed away. (sloth)

Yet, in his heart lies a decrepit, a monster when awoken

Devours all that passes its gate, and one hears that limping soul’s satisfied bray. (wrath)

No, he can’t face the mighty knight’s credit, whose acts not just befallen;

Arrogance to his sword’s hilt accurate, his show worth the display!” (pride)

Can I point out the explicit? Or snuggle in with the hidden?

For my wants are what they call ‘adulterate’, groping at whatever that lay. (lust)

Yes, my act is mine. I own my sin with disdain.

For that is what makes me human, the species that went astray.

That four letter word, again.

I have cautioned myself to be alive,
To be consciously aware enough to thrive,
To kill my heart's depths and be a thinker
Of contemporary affairs and such momentary trifles.
I have tried my best to make my heart want
Anything but another human being.
I have pushed and thrust my imagination
To go beyond my life and this scene.
You know what is coming now and I know you won't be surprised
When I tell you my nightly mares and the pit in the morns, inside.

Oh, don't I want to love you like I used to?
Yes, I do and more than I wanted to!
I want to love you with a passion so fierce
My heart cries out in fear while it bleeds!
I want to love you like I could sing
The highest note I could with all the strength in my abdomen!
I want to love you to want you to be with me,
Want it so much that I hold on to my hand imagining it to be yours.
I want to love you like I could write for days and years
While sleep and hunger become just mere inconveniences.
I want to love you so much,
The desire threatens to break my heart and burst my brain.

Why do I want to love you and not really love you, love?
Why do I stop from throwing myself at this opportunity
To give in to how much I want to love you, love?

It is so that my heart is weak.
It won't stand another blow,
The way I kept incessantly stabbing at it with my love.

I long for the day to have recovered from the injury,
Like a dancer who waits to play on those feet after a fall.
I long for that day when I can, once again,
Pluck at those metaphorical strings to a new tune.
I long to see what or who will compel me to dust my harp off,
I hope I don't let it rust till then.

Imagery and Imagination

It is not always that my senses perceive consistently.

They do not form, together, what they must

As a response to the stimulus.

There is this battle within while I form anew

What I must form to define new experiences.

Alas! I did not see until now, that the image is not to feel one.

The image was to know as my senses knew, differently,

That their implication of an emotion, is and always has been of one.

Urges

Urges – ugly, beautiful urges.

To enjoy and to perish in them. To twirl to its beat to dizziness.

Come, dive in, my precious. Synchronize and swim to our melody!

You be the main and I’ll be the bass, because we no longer need a higher tone.

I’ll tie weights around your ankles and soothe you in my embrace.

No, my love, we do not drink in the hope of freedom but in the knowledge of bondage.

Cheers to escape from sanity, from patience and serenity!

No, don’t run away!

Or, in fact, you must run! Run in feverish Desire, never at a moment’s peace.

Wait! How did you slip out of the weights, out of my shackles? Where did you find the strength and serenity to do this?

I see! It’s in you? It’s in you, oh no!

Another one in and out, passing by like the rest.

Never is this their destiny, just a nasty test.

Just a nasty test.

Sherlockian

Look through the glass and tell me what you see.
A speck of dirt or something beneath?
Walk tall or even if you walk short,
Clear eyes aren't something you will always see.
Come child don't be afraid of this life,
Since what is hidden doesn't always deceive.

The three sentinels

Four hours past the midnight gong,
Awake even after having been without sleep for more than a day,
Us three sentinels of our minds stand guard.
We gaze upon a lone branch of a tree,
Visible to us outside our gate of freedom.
This branch gives rise to smaller branches,
Arising from which are leaves appearing dark against a twilight sky.
One of us carries a smoking device
While the other two hold goblets
Containing potions of a high spirited kind.
All three are gazing at the branch,
With the sunlight dancing over it,
Highlighting at times the undersides of the dark branch
And at other times the green of new leaflets.

Each sees a different story in the lone sight they are allowed
While they sip their poison and listen to notes played
In the distance to form sweet music.

Many a year ago, here they stood to gaze upon this branch, these free men.
Many a year later they will come again to gaze upon this lone branch
Which when will have a thicker form, newer leaves through many autumns and springs
And, perhaps, some flower or fruit.

For it, to all of us, all the best.

When I sea you at night

I can still see you even though the sun has gone to sleep.
Not in your entirety, but I can see you,
Stealing glances at you through these sun-like man-made lights.
You are coming towards this land,
Crashing into, forming and deforming these mousy rocks.
I see you, challenging two of my race,
Lovers maybe, holding onto each other,
The audacity with which they stand up to you.
Oh dear, when will you see that I stand right behind them
Waiting for you to swallow me?
These rocks, dark and grey, obstruct me.
Turn them to sand for me, won't you, love?
Let me join you, for once!
I'm tired of being the admirer, writing songs,
Like a crazed minstrel dreaming of union submergence!
No, wait! It has dawned on me
What damage your nature and strength can do!
You come galloping, like an army of a thousand worthy knights,
Crushing everything in your sight.
What if, with this wish, I wipe out mankind
And all it's efforts?
My race is, after all, what brought me to you.
I will return sad tonight, my sweet sea monster.
I will come back another day,
What shall be the day we discuss this union again.